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Reading tweets, drinking coffee
Every morning, I start my weekday by pouring my coffee, sitting in front of my laptop and scanning tweets. This is how I ease myself into every single day. This morning, I came across a blog post by fellow self-employed writer, Marci Diehl. (Read her blog post.) She wrote about how being self-employed is filled with many days where you sit and question if you are really doing the right thing. Man! It was like she’s been sitting inside my head.
Don’t get confused. I love what I do. I love being my own boss. I love being self-employed. I love my jobs (yes, plural, because I am self-employed ya know). I love my clients. And I’m proud of myself that I was able to get to this point in my career where I have such great connections and can work for myself.
However … there are days where I do second-guess myself. It’s much easier to work for someone … to rely on the stability of being someone’s employee. You know you have a job the next day. You know there will be a paycheck on payday. You will get an annual review with praise, and maybe even a raise. You will get recognition for projects you initiate and drive for success.
On some level, you also have that stuff from being self-employed but it’s on a different spectrum. It’s hard to really explain and I’m not sure I can find the right words. Being self-employed is for me. I do love it. But there are days where it’s hard and scary. This quote from Marci is what hit me square in chest because it’s so TRUE:
Lack of fulfillment. Feeling compelled to accomplish non-stop. Feeling bored. Having trouble getting motivated … These all normal feelings in any self-employed day.
I love that I have my own company at 32 (which I started at 30). I love being my own boss. I love making connections and learning the things I want to learn. I love it. But it is hard and scary, and it’s not for everyone. But it is for me. Thank you, Marci, for telling me I’m not alone in those thoughts.